Always the best

I stay in reasonably close contact with a friend that I worked with at Buffalo's Cafe, during my (original) college days. Today, we're chatting online when he receives a phone call from another former Buffalo's employee. She called to tell him that another co-worker of ours had died two months ago in a housefire.

Man. I don't even know what to say about that. I remember her so well. She was, first of all, a gorgeous girl. She was also sweet, sassy, and smart, and one of the hardest workers I've ever known. We called her "The Machine".

She was one of the good ones, y'know? It's so weird how things like this happen, not only to good people, but seemingly to a small group of individuals; for example, college students who worked at Buffalo's during the late 90s. We lost another coworker several years ago to a drunk driver, and just this past year another individual who was a regular musician at Buffalo's died suddenly from cancer.

I guess sometimes we need a reminder that life and death are inescapable and without judgement.

Bibliomania

"I have been asked to write a foreword to this bibliography, a work whose good fortune I truly desire, but the nature of whose value or interest to anybody I do not understand. As for myself, I am a collector of sea-shells. I live in the strong though ebbing hope of finding someday on a briefly uncovered sand-bar a right-handed Left-Handed Whelk; or even, someday, after propitious foul weather, of digging out of the beach under the jealous eyes of hundreds who dare not quite attack me and wrest it from me, a perfect Junonia. The very thought of the words "Conus gloria-maris, Hwass" fills me with an ecstasy of longing and despair. But the sight of the words "matchless copy of Hookes' Amanda, with both blank leaves G5 and H" leaves me unaffected. However, as I said, to this bibliography, and to its compiler and to its readers, I wish good fortune. As a maniac in one department, I salute the maniacs in another: may sweet Insanity forever charm our days."

-Edna St.Vincent Millay, foreword to A Bibliography of the Works of ESVM by Karl Yost

The Little Engine that Couldn't

If you know me at all, you're probably aware that I am fiercely competitive, and that I hate to be seen as weak. As much as I might try to believe that women can do anything men can, sometimes, it must be admitted that it's simply not true. Particularly if one is a moderately short woman.

This move has been an interesting experiment in being honest with myself and saying "Face it, Sam. You can't pick up that box and carry it to the car." I'll probably find some other physical activity with which to destroy my body, but I'm proud of myself for acknowledging my limitations. It still sucks that I can't just move everything myself, but what are you going to do? Sometimes it has to be all about the little victories, no?

Hobbies?

This weekend we went to a birthday tea party for a very cool friend of mine. We passed an enjoyable afternoon nibbling on pastries and drinking copious amounts of tea whilst chatting away with said friend and her (equally cool) friends. Now, when I call my friend "cool", I mean it. She's a special collections cataloger, she used to fence, she dabbles heavily in costumery, sewing, cooking, belly dancing...she does a lot. She always has some kind of project going. Her friends would seem to be equally inclined, and at some point in the conversation, we're asked "So, what do you do when you're not being librarians?" And suddenly, I feel intimidated. What are my hobbies??

Fencing, admittedly, can be a pretty all-encompassing hobby. But what do I do if I'm not fencing? Singing, too, can take up a lot of one's time, but I'm not doing that these days. What else? I like doing the crossword in the morning. I spend way too much time on the Internet. I like the usual reading, listening to music, and watching movies, but would I call any of those a hobby? Not particularly. I used to do cross-stitch when I was younger. I can sometimes be counted on to go to the gym regularly. I really like hanging out with my husband. Occasionally we go roller-blading.

So, let's say that, beyond fencing, I don't really have any hobbies. Seeing as I really only fence maybe once or twice a week, what on earth is it that I spend the rest of my time doing? I have no idea. I don't even watch that much television. Must be the Internet.

The natural progression here is to say "Well then, get yourself a hobby!" quickly followed by "What are you interested in? What would you like to do?"

...
...
...

No effing clue. If I look at myself hard in the mirror, I realize that I am not a particularly creative person. Sure, I've tried art and writing and dance, and I'm so-so at all of them, but if I try to think of something I'd actually like to do with my time, none of those jump out at me. Sewing, etc. seems cool sometimes, mostly because in the library world it seems a lot of people go in for that kind of thing. I've been there, done that on the music front, although I'd like to make an honest try of learning to play those tin whistles I've got lying around.

I find myself leaning toward the physical. I'd like to roller-blade more. I could always fence more. One of my best friends (another highly multi-faceted and hobby-laden individual) is now firmly ensconced in the world of roller derby, and man! that looks fun. Ballroom dancing looks interesting, although I think I require some form of outside motivation, and I'm not really sure competitive ballroom fits the bill for me. I'd like to take yoga or Pilates classes, too.

So, there's a few things I could come up with. The problem then becomes being disciplined enough to do them. Plus, with a lot of the physical pastimes, there's an issue of money. In order to do things right, you need teachers and coaches, and in the case of fencing equipment and tournaments (or at least I do - again, the competitive thing).

The ultimate question, then, is "Am I just being lazy?" Lots of hobbies cost money. Sewing costs money to buy materials, etc. My friends with lots of hobbies are no less busy and no more monied than I, yet they find the time and the means to do all the things they do. So what's my problem? Is there some fabulous hobby somewhere that I've not thought of that I should be tapping into? Or should I just become one of the television-happy masses?

Seriously, if anyone's paying attention, I'd love to hear suggestions. Seeing as I'm about to move across the country and spend the next 6 months without my husband or a computer at home, I might as well try some new stuff, no?

PS - In reading back over this post, I think that the issue of "motivation" is a big factor for me. I'd want to do something with my hobby, if you get my meaning. With fencing, I've traveled a fair bit and won a few medals here and there, and that seems to be enough, so it's not major motivation, but there does have to be some. Guess that's something to think about.

American Gangster

The dilemma: I love Russell Crowe. I hate gangster movies. What do I do?

Positive reviews all over the place, even in the LA Times! Russell gets bad press from E!Online gossip columnists who want to maintain his poopy-pants image! Oscar buzz is rampant! He does the press dance, adorably imitating his son Charlie on Leno! And the crowning insult: American Gangster is up against Bee Movie for the weekend box office crown. As much as I love Russell Crowe, I loathe Jerry Seinfeld.

...But I really don't like gangster movies. I actually kind of actively dislike gangster movies. It's not like "Eh, I'm not feelin' it", it's more "Ugh, power-lusting men with guns. Pass."

Stay tuned for the resolution. We really might have to go see it, if only to do my part to keep Seinfeld from taking the box office.

Sigh.