Race recap?

On Sunday I ran the Women Run the Cities 10 miler. I have several friends who run it often (although they didn't this year), and have heard great things about it, so I decided to sign up. Additionally, the 10 miles fits pretty neatly into a half-marathon training schedule for the Monster Dash in late October, so it's all quite tidy. The race is a women-only event, which was kind of different, and while I've run a half before, it's my first time racing with this particular distance.

My training runs so far have spanned from truly awful to decent, so I had a LOT of anxiety going into this race. Most of my running this year has felt like a struggle, what with foot issues and shin issues; beyond that, it all just feels a lot harder for some reason.  For another thing, I've come to realize that running in the summer kind of sucks. You're slow and it's hot and you feel awful, but the trade-off is generally that once the fall weather hits, you're speeding right along. Well, "speeding." It's all relative.

So, I ran with a friend, and I am really grateful to her for being supportive and cheerful during the race. We got there early to pick up race packets and drop off bags, and stuff, and it was nice to be able to have time to do that stuff without getting stressed about it. We discovered that there were pace leaders, which made me really happy. I generally have no clue when it comes to pacing, so having help in staying consistent is awesome. While the race was well-attended, it was not as crowded as some, and everyone spread out really quickly after the start, which was nice. My friend and I actually settled into a pace probably about 15 seconds ahead of the group we'd selected (10:30), which felt really good to start out with. It was pretty chilly, but the weather was GORGEOUS, and I ended up taking off my long-sleeved shirt after a couple of miles.

My feet started their weird hurting thing a little earlier than usual, somewhere between miles 3 and 4. Despite that, I was feeling really great until mile 6 or so, and then...I just got so TIRED. Not physically tired (although obviously that too) but more mentally tired. My brain was just not into it. It was a strange feeling. My body would say "Not having fun. Please desist this activity." and I would say "But why? My feet hurt, but that's not that bad. Legs are a little sore but nothing major. Breathing could be easier, but so what?" Overall, it really felt as though I felt fine? but I just didn't want to be running anymore. It became SO HARD to keep going, even as we came closer to the end. Once we hit mile 7, we're all thinking "Alright! A 5k. I can run one of those!" and at mile 8, I thought "2 miles. I do this every day, almost." My friend, who was running a good race, wanted to speed up a bit toward the end, and she made me promise to keep running, which I did. Once I could see the finish, I even did my usual sprint for a strong finish, and that felt pretty great. There's finish line video, and I definitely don't look like someone struggling to make it.

Ultimately, I finished right where I'd wanted to. Considering I certainly slowed down a good bit in the latter half of the race, that's pretty awesome. So why am I so unhappy with this? I really can't work it out. The race, or at least the second half of it, was SO HARD. I've been running for three years at this point. Not a grizzled veteran, certainly, but not a newbie either. I ran my first half-marathon last fall at about the same pace, and had a lot of foot issues, etc. leading up to it that actually sidelined me for the week and a half prior to the race. I felt awesome for those entire 13.1 miles. Usual soreness and stuff, but I just felt great: strong and swift and like I had it the whole time. So why were these 10 miles so difficult?

Basically, I've encountered some form of negativity that I can't account for. During the long winter, I was working out (strength training) really regularly and doing a pretty usual week of running on the treadmill. Once better weather hit, I ran (haha) into some problems transitioning from indoor running back to outside which resulted in my taking a few weeks off, and I have just not come back from that the way I'd like. When I started my job in the middle of the summer, the strength training dropped off, although I'm trying to still get in some yoga. I honestly believe I am in better shape currently than I have been at any point previously. So why am I struggling through these runs? I came into this race feeling unprepared. WHY? I've been doing a pretty impressive job of getting up early and getting in 2 miles three or 4 times a week, and even started doing one interval run per week. I hit all of the long run mileage that I should have.

THIS IS ALL IN MY HEAD, but I don't know what it is or how to get rid of it. This morning was my first run post-race, and I went out just to run. I made a mental note of the time, but I left my phone at home, no Runkeeper or anything. It felt nice. I ran three miles comparable to what I've been doing. I was happy to get out and do it. I'm hoping that venting a little will help me get over whatever this issue is. It's really frustrating and confusing, and it makes me dread the next long run. I don't even want to think about a half marathon right now. On the other hand, I still feel much better when I've gotten my runs in, and even the day after the race, I saw someone running and thought "Man, rest days are lame." I feel pretty certain that this is a speed bump and I will get over it, but it is just rough.